A LONG HOLIDAY
Kuala Berang
June 2008
I get the key hanging on the wall, and stealthily I open the door and get the car in the garage. I start the engine and quickly reverse the car out the house’s gate.
Shamir is already waiting outside the garage. “Faster! Before my mother see me and she will chop off my head”.
It’s already ten o’clock. Most people in my village sleep early since there is no night activity at my village. That’s why we have to stealthily sneak out to get some entertainment at Kuala Berang, a small town 9km from where I live. Although it is no too far away from my house, but the route is quite scary and dark. I will not be brave to drive alone at the time like this. Shamir also following me, so there is nothing to worry. It is only five minutes to drive there. As we arrive at the town, most of the shop and stall are already close, only some restaurant and café still operating at this hour. I drive the car to the Jasmine Bakery and Café. My favorite café where i come to drink cappucino.
Shamir enter the café first. “Is there any available seat for two?”. He ask the waitress who stand at the entrance.
The waitress led him to the table. “Please have a seat sir. This is the menu, we have special red cappuccino for today. Are you expecting for someone?”
He smiles at the waitress. “No. My friend is outside. He is on his way. Can I have a glass of water please? Your beautiful makes me dehydrated”. He sure is expert in flirting. Most girl like him because he is nice and funny person.
The waitress brings him the tall of water and I was already seated before she was coming. “So this is your friend?”. She smile at me, and we meets at the eyes for a moment. She is really beautiful.
“Can we make the order now?”. I try avoiding the awkwardness.
“Sure”. She answers a bit late.
After taking the order she left us and she turn back once or two times, back and forth. I’m not sure what her problem is. Maybe she found we are cute or something.
Shamir glance at me. “What happened with you? You look so depressed lately and the waitress shows her interest in you, but you are so stoned. Is there something bothering you?”
Shamir is my bestfriend. I know him since I was first year old. He has a same age as me. He live next to me house, so we are really close and sometime I feel like he is my brother. If we talking about about Shamir, I’m not afraid to share all of my problems or secrets with him because I know he will do the same too.
I sigh for a few times, which make Shamir more anticipate to hear what I am going to say. “There is no more Haida. We broke up.” A simple answer from my mouth.
His brow wrinkled and his pupil dilated. He’s surprised. “What do u mean by break up? What happened?”.
Without thinking any longer, I tell him everything happened between me and Haida. Last month, when I was preparing for my final examination, I felt stress from the study. I felt depressed and sad, because there was too much to read and too many to understand. If I continue like this, I will not be able to study for the rest of the given time. I decided to see Haida at Kulim, a town in some other district. It takes one hour journey by bus. She studies at Tailor College of Kulim. Haida was my first girlfriend, we were classmate when we were in high school. I went to Kulim once per month to see her.
Every month, I will excite to see her. She has a beautiful eyes, and white skin. She was the most beautiful girl I ever see since then. The last visit, I went to Kulim for two days. I will stay at the cheap hotel which cost me around RM40 per night. Usually we will go to the mall at the day and I will send her home after ten. Before I went back to my college, she will sent me and wait for me at the bus station and today it’s going to be her last to do that. My bus still not arrives at the station. The weather was quite bad, it’s raining and cold.
She gave me her handbag. “Can you hold this for me? I need a ladies room.” She smiled and left me at the waiting area.
Suddenly her phone rang. It was her Sweetheart calling. If the caller is her sweetheart then who am I? Her Sweetfornothing?.
I answered the phone. “Hello.Yes?”.
It’s a man. “Hello.May I have Haida on the phone please?”
Uneasy. “Haida is not here. I’ll let her know you are calling.” I never told Haida, her sweetheart was calling that day.
I hanged up the call. I felt really uneasy and I suspected there is something going between them. Without her knowing, I access her inbox messages and read all the messages sent by her Sweetheart. It’s right. They have a relationship as I expected. They called each other darling,sweety,honey, my ass. Deep inside me, I am about to explode. How can she do me like this? At that time, I feel so pain, which I can’t explain. My heart was tearing apart like a piece of paper had been cut by a scissor. I can’t think properly, my mind blank and I lost my sense. I was totally crazy, acutely. I know it sounds yucks, I just want to explain how I feel that time. I hate this yucks thingy too.
After 10 minutes, she approached me, step by step she com closer. Every step she take, every inch she closer to me, I feel really breathless. My eyes really want to cry but I hold it. I don’t want her to see me in that kind of shame. I really don’t want to ask her anything. I don’t need an answer from her. The messages tell me everything. I act cool like I know nothing.
The bus had arrived and I board in. She waved me from the outside. “See you again. Call me when you reach the college. I’m gonna miss you!”
Hesitately. “I will! Take care!”. I whispered to myself, “Let not see each other again. Take care and please doing great. Don’t be sick.”.
At the college, after I have some shower to calm me down, I grab my phone and dialed her.
I take a deep breath, while closing my eyes. “Hello. I’ve arrived safely. What are you doing?”.
Her voice sound so soft. “You should get some rest. I already fall asleep. This weather really makes me lazy”.
I brave myself to tell her my decision. I have decided to let her go. I don’t think I can forgive her again after what she done to me. This is not the first time.
The dialogues stop for a while before I start talking. “I have something to tell you. Will you listen to me without interrupt me till I finish?”.
She becomes so worry and afraid. “What is it? You make me nervous.”
With confident, I let out everything. “Today, your sweetheart called when u went to the ladies room. I answered it. We didn’t talk much so you don’t have to worry. He doesn’t know who am I, I don’t want to makes you have a trouble with him too. I did read your messages, and what I read, I don’t like it. I really don’t like it. You promised me, you will not do this thing again to me. Yes, I know I am stupid, I believed you and I gave you one more chance to prove me, it’s only me in your heart. But you failed. I already have my decision,and I want you to respect my choice. Let’s not see each other again. I’m sorry.”
She starts to cry. “I’m sorry. I really love you. Only you. Believe me. Please don’t leave me, please.”
I can’t stand to hear her crying. I’m afraid I will caught crying to. I really want to cry, but I hold it. I hold it. Not for you. You are not deserved my tears. I do love you. I really am, but what you did to me, I can’t forgive it. Never.
I hanged up the phone and lying on the bed. She called hundred times that night but I never answered them. I wrote this SMS to her before I go to sleep. “Give me some space and time. Don’t worry, someday I will find you, we can talk again, but as a friend. Goodnight. Please don’t cry. You have no reason to cry over me. I'm nobody.”
I wake up in the morning, with a severe headache and I can’t study properly for the whole week. I’m afraid my results will affected by this.
Until today, I have no news about her. Everything Shamir needs to know, I’ve story him in details. He found this really shocking and he still can’t believe it. While we are having such a heart to heart conversation, the beautiful approach us with the meals and coffees we have ordered. They look delicious. After we done eating, I go to the cashier counter to make the payment. But what really catching my eyes is the cashier on duty, she is amazing and I my heart nervous. I don’t know why.
Unintentionally, I try to have some conversation as a customer. “Are you the owner of this place?”.
She smiled. Beautifully. “Yes.”
I asked her another question. “Really. Who is the pastier and the barista?”.
She smiled again. “Also me. Here is your balance sir. Thank you for coming and please come again.”.
I take the remaining money and exit the café. Thinking about the owner, sure there are many amazing things happen in the world. She is so young and she already becomes a successful women. I start the car and return home. It's already two in the morning. If my parents aware that I'm not at home at this hour, sure they will give me some lecture in the morning which I don't like to listen to. We reach the home ten minutes later, and silently I enter the house and sneaking to my room and I fall asleep.
(continue smpai rumah kol 3 pagi..introduce my parents, my family, what i do in kampong, introduce khairil, memory2 yg ade, dapat result matric, and surat acceptance dari usm bla bla,misc bla bla..gi usm kejap..dapat medic.gi ukm..what happened in ukm..ramadhan..introduce nora..introduce hanifa..finish the line with and explaination about preparing for raya and fly..proceed chapter 1.3 raya vs sandy country.)
